The sweet life of marySue
by MissDifferent
Summary: You think being a Mary-Sue is wonderful don't you? Let me tell you this: It jolly well isn't. Let me show you….  Mary-Sue's point of view.


**The sweet life of Mary-Sue.**

**By MissDifferent.**

_**Summary: You think being a Mary-Sue is wonderful don't you? Let me tell you this: It jolly well isn't. Let me show you….  
>Mary-Sue's point of view.<strong>_

**A/N: Hi, this story has been sitting in my head since I learned what a Mary-Sue is, which by the way wasn't that long ago. Hope this tickles you interest.  
>Oh, and if you want to flame, go ahead, after the saying of "There is no such thing as bad fame." I can't remember who said that though…<br>Oh well, here goes:  
>_<strong>

Okay people, my name are Mary-sue, and I have a bone or two to pick with you.  
>"Why that?" you wondering now. Let me tell you.<p>

Firstly, all you girls out there, hating me just because I am so perfect, you think that's nice? Being despised JUST because you the most beautiful. How would you feel? **prods reader in chest**  
>you wouldn't like it either.<p>

And as if that isn't enough, of course you authors make me have sex with just about every male you can think of. Oh no, JUST one per story isn't enough. I HAVE to do at least two. Do you know what my friends are starting to say? **Takes a drag from her Fag** Do you really have to make me die after EACH fricking story you call a Fan fiction? You do know that throwing yourself in front of a bullet, car, bus, off a building, bridge just to save your so called "loved-one" actually HURTS? Why can't Harry, Draco, Ron, Cerdric or any other just save themselves huh? I die in the most atrocious ways but do you like me? NOO, you still detest me like there is no tomorrow. The worst I've come across is dying for another couple. Really, you should know that that is not going to happen, because the most important person for me is… ME.  
>**flips hair**<p>

Now to the relationship matter. Some of you guys are sick. As in practically perverted. WHY ON EARTH would I want to be fricked by two guys? Seriously what the hell? And do you really expect ME, the epthemie of beauty and perfectness to DIE just so Harry and Cedric can continue jacking each other off? Well, to be brutally honest. I would rather prefer them to die.  
>**Paces**<br>has it EVER occurred to you, that ONE SINGLE boyfriend is enough? Because believe you me, it is.

Hah, now for a laugh. My "magic" powers. Retractable claws, glow-in-the-dark eyes, wings, FANGS? Have you guys got no imagination? All those are FRICKIN COMMON! (Not to say tacky and really annoying). And really, if I had a keyblade a thousand times better then Harry, and all the powers of the Death-Eaters do you really think I would need saving?  
>**glares**<br>Argh, the couples you make me have with people. AWFUL.  
>Harry, the-boy-who-has-no-personality, he is MAJOR boring. Always leaving ME just to go and save "the world". Like that is more important than me. **Pffts**<br>What can I say about my pairing with Ron. That guy is the SADDEST WIMP I have ever come across. During our relationship, he wouldn't even KISS me.  
>HAH, and Snape. A Scary guy who wears minimal clothes under his robe asks you to his "office" saying that he thinks your "beautiful" and who makes AWFUL pick up lines about "I feel like a Snake today, mind if I slytherin?"<br>I don't think I have the Time and energy to go over the others.  
>Except one more. Being in a couple with an evil, power-obsessed, demonic wizard. Who, I need to specify has no nose. Yep, you got it. VOLDEMORT.<br>**Laughs**  
>I cannot believe you either pair him with ME or make him my father. Because that means, SOMEBODY got bedded by him.<p>

**Shudders**  
>Eek. Gross.<p>

Oh I bet you Slash-writers/lovers out there think you got off easy Huh? Well I'm not finished. You think that putting Draco and Harry or Harry and Ron or something is fun? THINK AGAIN. I have a LIFE and better things to do, like manicuring my perfect nails. Or doing my beautiful hair. Do you expect me to _like _being in a couple with Ginny, or Hermione just because you feel the need for writing Femslash? I would ONLY go out with HOT, PERFECT people. And since nobody is doing the cut, I'm currently dating the only wonderful thing around; myself.

Anyway, I now have to go and get ready for another tiring day of being adored by all. Just one last warning. If I find another story about me being in a awful couple, dying at the end, I shall hunt you down and force you to live my life, MINUS the perfectness, of course. That isn't a Threat by the way. It's a promise.  
>**Flounces away**<p> 


End file.
